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I have what some might call a fancy education. I took six years to get a four-year degree, and also married and had my first child during that time. In the months leading up to graduation, friends, family, and professors asked what I planned to do with my education. I realized, however, that more than any job, I wanted another baby. Ten months after graduation I gave birth to my second son and never looked back.
While my education helped prepare me for eventually schooling my own children, I never imagined the joys and the heartache - the gamut of emotions from sheer terror to pure bliss - inherent in the greatest job in the world. Today, just an average day, I experienced several of those moments that define motherhood.
Every mother who has had both a toddler and a set of stairs knows that awful sound: the thud, followed by wailing. I heard it today and ran across the house, scared of what I would find.
Lily was lying at the bottom of the stairs, scared and hurt. I sat and held her until she stopped crying, while she marked my black shirt with iridescent trails of mucous, a visible badge of motherhood. Then she snuggled in close and popped her little thumb in her mouth, content. It won’t always be so, but I was blessed with a moment when I was all she needed to make everything better.
My 10-year-old daughter, Sabra, had Keepers at Home today. Sabra loves Keepers, and I’m excited she has the opportunity to learn many skills that I do not possess. I try to learn along with her, but it’s interesting sometimes. Rather than a domestic goddess, Keepers at Home seems to transform me into a domestic doofus.
Today was no different as we worked on our current project, sewing a tiered skirt. While I was helping at my painfully slow pace, the other mothers and daughters seemed to fly through the steps. Then it hit me: Sabra doesn’t seem to notice or care that I’m not as skilled as many of the other moms. She looks at me with the adoring eyes of a daughter toward her mother, confident that I can guide her. The blind devotion of a child is truly a sacred trust, and I was humbled and honored by it.
After a long afternoon of Keepers and band lessons, we headed for Moe’s, where the kids always want quarters for the machines. My husband told me that our 5-year-old son, Clayton, had gotten a heart ring for his prize. When asked if he was going to give it to me for Valentine’s Day, Clayton had said, “Maybe, or maybe Miss Fran.” Miss Fran is our dear friend who is truly a Pied Piper. Our children adore her and I’ve told her that even when hers are grown and gone, my younger ones will still want to spend the night at her house.
While we ate, I noticed two ladies seated close to us who seemed to observe our clan. This is not uncommon for us; that many kids attract attention. I’m not a mind-reader, but it’s obvious a lot of people don’t understand why anyone would have such a large family, and their attitude is not always kind.
As they left, one of the ladies leaned down and spoke in my ear: “Your family is adorable. Simply precious!” Although I may never see her again, her words will not soon be forgotten. As we were leaving, Clayton smiled his heart-melting smile, one any mother of a young son knows, and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day,” as he placed the ring in my hand.
When I read Proverbs 31, describing that seemingly unattainable model of female perfection, the verse that always jumps out at me is #28: “Her children arise up, and call her blessed…” That’s the one I want - the one I can’t attain on my own, the one that has to be given to me, undeserving though I am (much like salvation).
Today I was beheld as comforter; teacher; object of blind faith, love, and affection. Though I seek to bless my children’s precious lives, the truth is that they bless me immeasurably. I thank God for entrusting us with their care and putting the desire within me for motherhood, the greatest job in the world.
Christi says:
Aww….this post touched my heart. Thanks.
February 7th, 2007 at 8:05 am
I started my morning sobbing to this post. I so know what you mean…those moments are what I live for…like at the funeral, it was said that life is about the “moments not the minutes”…exactly! Your family IS so precious, I love you all!!
February 7th, 2007 at 8:51 am
I LOVE this post! It brought some tears to my eyes.
The joys of motherhood are so simple and so mundane sometimes, but if we really look, they are everywhere. Thanks for the reminder to “look” closely for my blessings today!
February 7th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Trina says:
Dawn that was wonderful. You and your family hold a special place in my heart.
February 7th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Mama Lily says:
Dawn this is so beautiful. A loving glimpse inside motherhood. So many times we overlook those “moments” in our rush to accomplish our chores. Thanks for the reminder to slow down and see those moments for what they truly are!
February 7th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Melanie says:
Lovely-
Many people think that we “waste” our education by staying home with our kids. I fell into this trap myself, then realized I am just better trained for motherhood. :>)
This is one of your best!
February 7th, 2007 at 10:05 am
Doris says:
WOW! I’m thankful I too chose the greatest job in the world.
February 7th, 2007 at 10:38 am
Shane says:
You are such a talented writer. This was an amazingly beautiful post. Thanks so much for sharing it with all of us.
February 7th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Thank you for that, Dawn. Like some of the other commenters, I was touched by your words and find myself wiping my eyes. I needed those words this week. Thanks! You are a blessing to so many of us.
February 7th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Carol says:
Woah. You are indeed blessed. Thank you for this glimpse into your way adorable family!
February 7th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Laurel Wreath says:
Oh I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing each story.
February 8th, 2007 at 3:25 am
Belle-ah says:
As the friend to several “larger than the so-called-typical 1.5 children” families I have seen that people can be insensitive to say the least…but God has blessed you LARGELY! We even get weird comments and reactions from our own families…and we only have 3 (we both come from “2 at most” families)! But I feel blessed to belong to a church with tons of big, happy families.
Oh, I am off track…I loved your post and it is a good reminder for me to embrace the daily blessings that come my way.
February 8th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Pam in Colorado says:
…and call her blessed. May I be worthy to be so addressed. I’m a work in progress. I NEED more progress. Thankfully the Lord doesn’t give up on me!
February 8th, 2007 at 11:34 am
What a beautiful post. You completely captured some of the very best feelings about being a mom. Of course he gave you the heart ring - you deserve it.
Hope you’re feeling better.
February 8th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Elise says:
What a beautiful post!
I love all of the lovely word-pictures you painted; I can see them as vividly as if I were living them. Except I am!
And Sabra - what a gorgeous name - I long to have that kind of relationship with my daughter when she’s older. You are doing a wonderful job with this gift called motherhood!
February 8th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
mommy to four j's says:
What a touching post. The truth is that I have been struggling with motherhood. The blessings right now seem far and to in between. I have wonderful children ages 9 10 4 and 2 and one comming in July. Thaks for the reminder of how precious my children are have a g reat weekend char
February 9th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Erica says:
Congratulations this post has been nominated for a Hot Stuff Award at GNMParents.
Good luck, voting closes on Thursday.
February 20th, 2007 at 8:54 pm